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Things I learned at the Muskrat Jamboree in chronological order:

bayleaf comes up as Fairfax Hyundai on

cmshaw's phone, randomly, making text message requests like 'Bring chocolate sauce and straws' very very funny.

If you go to the liquor store 3 hours after your last trip to the liquor store, they don't bother to card you. They just kind of point and laugh a little.

If you go to the liquor store again the next day, they'll just start giggling the second you walk through the door. o.0

A con comm that thinks to provide you with a dog tag with your name inscribed on it, a shot glass on a beaded rope, a map of the Northwest Areas, and a Good Vibrations catalog is a con comm to love. ♥

airinshaw is totally willing to lie to her friends for months just to make them squeak with joy. Impressive! But she has no pity for those of us who drove a whole 45 minutes to get the con and got lost once for 10 minutes on the way, just because she had to fly across some oceans or something. Whatever. ;-)

Chopsticks! \o/

'I took off my pants at con.txt to show everyone my new tattoo.' 'Oh! That's how I recognize you!' = never not funny.

If the hotel tells you 'yes, you can connect a DVD player to the TV' your follow-up questions should be 'And does that mean the DVDs will play and show on the screen?' because the answer is probably 'No. But you can CONNECT them.'

People don't hang out with me for my good looks and sparkling personality, but for my 17 inch laptop monitor. I'm kind of Ron Jeremy like that.

bayleaf and

cmshaw can sleep through anything, including the banging noise that came from our bathroom every half hour the whole time we were at con.

Starting happy hour at 2pm and then having...eight more happy hours the night before makes a 7am wakeup call VERY UNAPPRECIATED KTHNX.

A con comm who thinks that you're social! and nice! and schedules you for registration at 8am with

shayheyred because she's also social and nice? Is a con comm that deserves to have their suggestions box loaded with pieces of paper saying 'Con Comm take off your shirts' and variations thereof.

Fangirls will believe that writing 'Con Comm take off your shirts' is part of the registration process for a Muskrat Jamboree. \o/

A reinforced lesson from Con.txt:

shayheyred is AWESOME. ♥

the_star_fish chose this icon, my 'cheaters never prosper' icon, for my little icon pin. Which made me so happy! It's an icon made from a photo I took after a game of scrabble with my sister, during which she spelled pontoon pawntune because she's a horrid cheater, but I let her keep it because then I could spell weiner and win the game. I use it a lot for posts wherein I obtain things off the internets. ;-)

calathea and

reginagiraffe are really interesting, wonderful breakfast companions and will make even a breakfast served in the slowest. restaurant. ever. seem like a great time.

Target in Somerville is CLASSY. Driving around in Somerville is FUN.

Kidfic is awesome.

dsudis is an excellent mod, and fangirls talk pretty.

Fangirls only stop talking for food.

If it's an hour like 1pm and you're happy, you should totally drink.

If it's 3pm and you've had a happy hour, the thing to do is try to make intelligent conversation. \o/

Sitting at a big table in the corner of the ballroom is an excellent way to get news, gossip, information about VCRs from the 1980's and zines, which were once printed with potatoes and you had to walk uphill both ways to get them and sometimes you had to fight a dragon for them, but sometimes not.

kassrachel is as wonderful as I'd been hearing for all these many years.

dsudis is a genius and the Sit Down, Shut up and Write power hour in the ballroom was an excellent idea.

If you've written a thousand plus words of Torchwood with a little porn, a complete story, during the Sit Down, Shut Up and Write power hour, you should hang on to the pages. Otherwise it was an awesome but kind of wasted hour.

Somewhere, right now, a cheerleader in a short skirt is reading a thousand plus words of Torchwood with a little porn. She found the pages in a hotel in Gay Massachusetts, where lesbians hang out in the lobby. Her life will never be the same.

Somewhere, right now, Captain Jack is grinning. Pervert.

People leaping around in corsets, strapless bras, and too large bodices is fun to watch.

The Night Games Lounge is totally as awesome as it sounds.

Fangirls clean up (so to speak) really well, and are in general a bunch of very attractive women with excellent breasts who like to wear glitter and hang out with each other. Fangirls FTW.

Serpent Jen and Serpent Judy understand a girl's need for good tea, and are the kind of wonderful people who offer to share.

dsudis,

bayleaf and I play pool very very well when drunk. Fortunately

mumbles11 was there to actually get balls in the holes and not just lean over the table, giggling helplessly, or sink the white ball, or sink a ball and then do Paul Gross arms with a pool cue in hand and damage the Night Games Lounge. Unlike some people we could mention who happen to be me. \o/

c_regalis is super.

Fangirls are totally willing to tell bad dirty jokes and applaud random men who are carrying power cords, and entertain themselves however necessary if there happen to be technical difficulties.

Everyone knows the lyrics to Barrett's Privateers because fangirls ARE pirates and love singalongs.

Vids rock! Particularly funny vids, and Paul Gross vids, and Entourage vids where Eric and Vince--anyway you should all go find

strangecobwebs and

astolat's Jamboree premiere vids, which were fantastic.

If you're trying to have a smallish, quietish room party to watch Supernatural and drink stuff, you probably shouldn't be me,

bayleaf or

cmshaw.

If you're walking to the liquor store AGAIN and both of you are wearing thin shirts with not a lot of coverage, it's probably a good idea to take a sweater or something, or you could just be me and

bayleaf and freeze to death on the way there. Or you could just be me and need to stop walking three times on the way back and put down your $100 worth of alcohol because your shirt is really just coming off and needs to be adjusted. \o/

Room parties rock. We had an awesome group of people come through and be smart, funny, loud, funny, willing to jell-o wrestle to keep good authors in their fandom, funny, and also funny. I can't remember everyone who was there because I'd been drinking since 1pm, but we had

serialkarma (in our room! for four hours! *grins at her*) and

lynnmonster and

dsudis and

misspamela and

estrella30,

cesperanza,

astolat,

kassrachel,

engenda (who was so so nice and met people from my hometown and said 'they were stupid! they thought the president lived in Washington state!' oh, hometown FTW *g*) and

mumbles11 ('did you just call me muffles?' '...no?') and

abelladonna and

kalpurna and

therienne,

aka_arduinna--etc etc. A packed house and plenty of people who were party-hopping. So. Much. Fun.

If you're having an awesome room party, The Man will knock on your door at 2:15 am. Saying 'Quiet, it's the Fuzz!' is funny. The Fuzz rolling his eyes at you is not. Being able to say 'yeah, our room party got busted by security' is TOTALLY funny.

Second-hand wet towel is dangerous. They should label those things!

What I mean by that is, if you wake up at 6am and stumble drunkenly into the bathroom to wash your face and then you try to dry your hands and you find that the feeling of a slightly moist towel makes your very drunk self go '......huh. That feels kind of. Moist. And. Nubby. Moist and nubby......*gag*' and the sound of you experiencing the moist towel makes your roommate go '......huh. *gag*' then you probably should've stopped at 8 hours of drinking and not gone for the full 12. But it's easier to say that second-hand wet towel is dangerous and that they should label those things. Not that I know this from experience, or anything. o.0

If you can go shower, talk to people, go to breakfast, and then at 11am go from drunk to hungover for 15 minutes to feeling fine, life is pretty SWEET.

HBO shows have sex and violence. Shocking!! But breaking someone's neck after they've just given you a blowjob is kind of prize-winning gratuitous sex and violence. Why aren't there bigger HBO fandoms? The idea of a misc. HBO fandom community is pretty awesome and I can't wait to go for the coffee and stay for the buttsecks. All of which =

misspamela and

astolat's HBO panel was really fun.

Talking with

mumbles11 and

bayleaf about Supernatural for an hour over lunch and then going to

estrella30s Supernatural panel (which was amazing) and then collecting people to watch Supernatural in your room before and after you hang out in the con suite? Is awesome. So much fun!

The fannish nursing home will be full of women who can't make their Paul Gross arms come down from over their heads. 'My cock is crocheted on, yaye!' And we're totally going to blow the nursing home intranet having our flame wars about the bad quality of other fans' felt cock character clothes. ♥

Fucking

mumbles11, she doesn't like Indian food. Bitch. Jeez.

The con comm's room party? Excellent. Boys kissing boys! Girls kissing girls!

sailorscully being better at opening the BOX of Sangria than me, even though she had one arm in a sling! Farscape! Yay!

Taking a break in the middle of the party to go visit other fen then returning to your room to find 15 people sprawled out, waiting impatiently for you to come back to your 17 inch monitor and play them some more Supernatural? Awesome.

Returning to the party to find it's so hot in that room that the window is steamed up? Also awesome. So many people, so much great conversation--that at like, 10:30, the member of con comm wearing a t-shirt that says 'I'm just two girls away from a threesome' has to talk to the hotel people about us and um, how if we're not being quiet soon they're gonna call the police. Um? Kind of both less AND more awesome than anything ever.

Staying up till 3:30 in the morning drinking and telling

strangecobwebs to jump up and down and looking at bandslash picspam and talking about sexuality (in a kind of talking about sexuality is like making out with girls and talking about making out with girls is like curling sort of way) and coming up with the

cmshaw to

dsudis scale ('I should embrace that, like I've embraced a lot of people') and talking about realizing many years later that oh yeah, that thing you did was kind of gay--is truly fantastic. Fangirls are amazing even when they're drunk and giggly, and they can talk intelligently and humorously about ANYTHING. ♥

Sleeping for 3 hours after a marathon of drinking is like emptying a cup of water in the desert. Ugh.

Using your tweezers to fish a tomato out of your sink drain is wicked fucking classy. Knowing that no one in your room HAD tomatoes? Awesome. Losing the quarter that was also down the drain? Scary, because now it's growing in the sewers and it's going to come out in the Charles and bite someone's leg right off some day. o.0

Me leading the way to brunch in Waltham? Oh man. Let's just say that

cesperanza and

astolat learned about driving the wrong way up one-way streets, and thank god that we found

kassrachel and were able to oh so stealthily trail her to the brunch place. Otherwise we'd probably still be going around the rotary. (runedaboot)

Brunch at the Doubletree in Waltham is always excellent. The food is fantastic and the conversation is great. I really love livejournal, IM and email but fangirls in person will make you laugh so hard your ribs hurt and it's always so sad to give that up and go back to our tubes of the interblags. Waffles and bacon totally dull the pain. ;-)

It is possible to get from Waltham to Bradley International Airport in an hour forty-five if you have a trusty

bayleaf navigating. And a lead foot. And an adorable little Dodge Neon that really grew up over the weekend--she went from a perfectly sweet little 19,900 mile old to a 20,200 mile old. Precious isn't a teenager anymore! Aww.

Walking into your own apartment and sitting on your own couch is nice and relaxing, but will make you pine for the hours ago when you could walk into the con suite, maneuver past the pile of funyon bags and hang out with fangirls. It is possible to miss people you just saw and who you know you'll chat with in just a few hours. Sniff!

Oh man.

helleboredoll! Doll whose lj I don't remember!

kristiinthedark!

femmequixotic!

lordessrenegade!

etben! There were so many super neat people I met who I don't remember exactly when! *grins* I remember what we talked about, though, and you're all pretty awesome. People whose names I didn't get or don't remember who see this should remind me, because really, that would ROCK.

And now I go drink warm tea and try to get my voice back in time for work tomorrow. /o\

Thank you so much to

misspamela,

brooklinegirl,

kageygirl and everyone who helped them put this con together--it was fantastic and I had SO much fun. I can't wait to see you all again in 2009 and hope to see many of you at Con.txt in 2008! *hugs all around*