jack's afraid she'll eat his SOUL.

So, I'm catsitting for some friends Thurs-Mon. The cat in question is a kitten, 8 or 9 months old, who just got spayed. She is larger and heavier than Sally, who is twice her age. And she's ANGRY. HILARIOUSLY, VIOLENTLY ANGRY. *dies*

Day 1:
Angry Kitty: MROWWWWW! *spits* MROOOOOOWWWWWWWWW! *spits!!!!!* MROW!!!
Sally: This? is FASCINATING. Why do you not let her out of the bathroom? I am CERTAIN we could be PALS.
Jack: ....seriously, Mom? Seriously?
Angry Kitty: mrrrrrrrrrrrrrrooooooooooooowwwwww (translation: i'm so mad i could eat your FACE)
Jack: ....omg it's going to eat my face! *hides!!!!!!*

Day 2, early evening:
Angry Kitty: MROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW.
Sally: Seriously, GOOD FRIENDS. Just open the door and let me in there! C'mon, you'll see!
Giddy: ....*opens the door*
Angry Kitty: *spots Sally, actually transforms into the Tasmanian Devil right in front of our eyes*
Giddy: !!!!! *closes door*
Sally: ....I think she's nice!
Jack: ....screw alla y'all. *HIDES*

Day 2, night:
Giddy: *soaks in tub*
Angry Kitty: *sits in sink, mostly chill, sometimes hissing just to remind me that all 4 pounds of her could eat my face*
Jack and Sally, in the kitchen: LET US IN, WE WANT TO HANG OUT! MOM, ARE YOU IN THE TUB, WE LOVE THE TUB, LET US IIIIIIIIIN
Angry Kitty: ....Let them in, I go supernova.
Giddy: *dying of laughter* OMG, ILUGUYS

Day 3, early morning:
Angry Kitty: OMG I WANT YOU TO PET ME SO BAD.
Giddy: *puts out hand so that Angry Kitty can pet herself.*
Angry Kitty: OMG, awesome, perfect -- YOU MOVED! YOU MOVED! BASTARD! *hits and hits and hits, no claws*
Giddy: ....Seriously? What kind of self-defense are you practicing? Clawless smacking IS NOT A MARTIAL ART.
Angry Kitty: *purr purr purr* ilu *purr* OMG YOU BREATHED FUNNY! *HITS!!!!!*

Day 3, a little later:
Intern A: She was shaking the cage last night when you put her in there so I could shower.
Giddy: She's a little less angry this morning!
Intern A: I HAVE NEVER HAD CATS. SHE'S ANGRY. HELP.
Giddy: *herds Angry Kitten into cage*
Angry Kitten: BETRAYAL MOST FOUL! *attacks sides of cage*
Intern A: AAAAAAA!!!
Angry Kitten: MZZZZZZ!!!!! *SPITS*
Giddy: ....how about I cover the cage and leave it in another room?
Intern A: OMG IT'S GOING TO EAT MY FACE, yes please.
Angry Kitty: SHE'S NOT WRONG! *spits!*
Sally: ....Seriously, I like her!

And now Sally is sitting on top of the Angry Kitten's towel-covered cage, just like, OH HAI, HAI. PALS, YES? And the Angry Kitten is making these rib-busting growls of hatred, and I just. Ahahahhaaa, you guys. Feline drama! <3