I wish I had a brrrr icon.

Okay, so, it is so cold in my office that I keep thinking about this series of books I read when I was a teenager. The first book was called Fire Dancer -- did any of you read these? I didn't like them, exactly -- and considering I didn't have taste so much as appetite when it came to new books -- I think that says something. They were my first awesomely bad fic!

Anyway, these books were about this girl who had like, an energy inside her that showed up as gold lines on her skin, and as she matured and developed her powers, there were more and more gold lines, and she learned to control fire, I think?

And she had a mentor/partner/lover guy -- the Amazon reviews are all 'why is this categorized as a romance, Rheba and Kirtn couldn't reproduce, there wasn't a romance between them. Sci-fi, almost fantasy,' HA.

IIRC, there was a HUGE amount of UST between them, and I believe they hooked up in the 3rd book? Weird, because he had fur, he was like a big plush person, and my mental image was always of a refined Chewbacca, and I just. When she got out of control, anything in proximity got burned up, and I think his people were especially heat resistant and that's why they were the partners of her people? But seriously! He was fluffy! All I could picture was him on fire after sex. Chewie en flambe. Which I think even happened -- not the sex, but the en flambe -- IDK, that may just be a holdover memory from 'Seriously! He had fur! Wouldn't that be dangerous!?'

Anyway, at one point they were locked in what was like -- a zoo? A garden of paradise kind of thing? They were the last of their people, I think, so they were Rare and Exotic. And she was all despairing because she was losing control and going to go supernova like the sun of her home world, and she ran into this shape-changing creature named like, Fsssree or something that was mostly all sibilants because, of course, his most comfortable shape was a sort of convenient snake-like thing.

Fsssree was dying in the garden because it wasn't warm enough! HIS homeworld was like a big methane hot planet. So Rheba was a thing of joy to him forever, and he made himself useful by curling up in her hair and leeching heat off of her to help her keep control, plus also he could translate any language he heard, PLUS he could shape himself like a big satellite and hear from FAR FAR AWAY, and he spent the rest of the series sighing happily and sensing heat from LONG DISTANCES and being a babel fish and a total heat parasite at all times--I think he could actually kill things by sucking away all their warmth.

Now, finally, here is the point of all this. The point is, it is so cold in my office that whenever people come to my desk, even if they're just standing at the corner but particularly if they come stand next to me, I can feel their body heat, and a little alarm goes off in my brain that goes !!! * HEAT SOURCE! HEAT SOURCE * !!! and I spend a serious amount of time considering dragging them to me like great big warm waterbottles.

Not appropriate office behavior.

Not that we're generally a very appropriate office. I still think my boss would object to forcible cuddling. But supervisor S. is on a cruise right now, and she locks our space heaters up in a cabinet at night, and she has the key. I am wearing layers of sweaters and my scarf, and I am seriously concerned that I am going to freeze to death, stuck in my chair with my fingers curled over the keyboard and blue and FROZEN.

If I die, you guys, you get my books. Read this crazy cracked out Fire Dancer series if you haven't already, and think of me. You will probably laugh your asses off.

Actually, you can buy them off Amazon for 44 cents and shipping, so don't wait for me to die of freezing to death, just go get them. You won't regret it.

And now I will go rub two pencils together and hope for a spark of warmth. Brr.